I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
