Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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