watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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