i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
