There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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