i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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