love makes seman taste better
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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