If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
