you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
