This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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