You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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