I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
