Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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