im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
