Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
