There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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