Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
