So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
Randomize
