It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
