I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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