i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize