Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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