You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
