i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
