Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
