How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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