How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
