Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
