census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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