actually, I'm a sock model
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
