thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
