hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
