Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i drank out of a bidet.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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