Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
