first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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