I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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