Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
