Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
PANTIES FOUND
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