even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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