i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
