the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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