i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
