I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
