I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
