Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i came on her dog
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
