Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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