I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
bring money and cleavage
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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