You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
