So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
