Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
