how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
