I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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