I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
