you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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