he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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