like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
