Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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