thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
