i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
