so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
