Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
