remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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