You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
