remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
