Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
