Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
