his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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