im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just forgot I was standing up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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