Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Someone came in the potted fern
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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